Old men and throwing up are my life now.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
