I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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