You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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