I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
