he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Randomize
