As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I need to calm my uterus...
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
