Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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