found the other keg... it's in the tree
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
