so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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