mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
