Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
