Bisexual people are plain selfish.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
