I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
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