Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
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