Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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