she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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