Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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