I wish I only lived at night.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
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