remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Are we still banned from the library?
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
