you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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