Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Randomize
