When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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