All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Randomize
