he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Who wears a wallet chain?!
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
