I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
