id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
