We're like a lot better than the average bears
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize