don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
where are my pants?
in the oven.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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