i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Randomize
