Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
