Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vodka?
Forever.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
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