My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Randomize
