it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
a search helicopter?!
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize