I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
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