Apparently you make a good broom.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Randomize
