the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Randomize
