The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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