New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
home. puking in laundry basket.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
