I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low