actually, I'm a sock model
So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
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i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
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So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices