i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I wish i was in the wii world.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
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We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
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I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.