she was so not down for the gang bang
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
