ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
