whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
