no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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