yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Randomize
