when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize