My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
i just google imaged poop.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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