im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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