i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
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There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
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We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
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