Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.