The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I fill condoms, not promises.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle