I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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