Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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