at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
No stitches, just platelets and will power
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Randomize
