never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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